Oh, a change is gonna do me good!

Today was my last day at Cornell.

It began with the best Food Friday I have ever had- we all decided on a brunch theme and there were two types of quiches, some veggies, some fruits, croissants and Italian bread, cookies, Havarti cheese, crackers, pineapple icebox dessert, orange juice, and just an awesome day laughing with some new friends.

This is Star <3

Next I had the most perfect patient- a 3 month old miniature donkey who first came to Cornell because her back foot had been dislocated in a traumatic accident. Several rounds of surgery, screws, and cast changes, she came to me for a recheck and to see if one of the two screws could be removed (screws near the ends of bones in young, growing animals can cause angular limb deformities if not removed at the proper time.) Star was easily sedated and placed under general anesthesia.

I will say this, though, I did not expect how gross it was underneath the cast. I won't go into the details, but let's just say there was a lot of white and yellow stuff on the floor. And it smelled bad enough to "make a maggot leave the meat pile." In the end, the cast change became a bandage placement instead, along with some antibiotics. Now usually horses and other equids recover from general anesthesia in large padded stalls with rubber floors. It's one of the safest ways that an animal can wake up, but horses are flight animals by instinct and sometimes recoveries are violent "animated." Because Star was so little, I was permitted for the first time to sit in with a patient in the recovery stall to snuggle her awake.

Then I spoke with her owner- an awesome guy who just happened to commute to Pittsburgh for his work about every month or so. We had some nice conversations about the Pirates and places at the Strip District which have the best bread, about rescuing horses and other animals, and at one point how I accidentally killed 5 fish in my youth because while I knew how to bait a hook, I never knew how to take the hook out of the fish's mouth after I caught it. He then told me that he's deathly afraid of needles, and the resident agreed with my advice to change Star's medications from an intramuscular antibiotic to an oral form. I showed him how to apply a sterile bandage, and where to get the best deals on non-sterile items such as brown gauze and cotton rolls. The man shook my hand and said he would come back to Cornell only if I were still here to be Star's vet- a phrase which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Finally, at the end of the day, when I was tired and had walked 6 miles around the hospital according to my pedometer app, when I was helping other colleagues with their patients because my single patient was easy to get him settled for the night, the resident who I thought had always disliked me told me that I clearly had come a long way from when she first met me in September (my first rotation was Anesthesia, the second was Large Animal Orthopedics: I was a truly bumbling idiot for that first entire month of clinics because I had just moved from a different country, I didn't know anyone, I didn't know where anything was located, and the computer program we used was not user-friendly.)

She then said,
"You know, we were hard on you because we know you're going to be a great equine veterinarian."

And that was the end of my favorite day at Cornell.

I present to you.....Dr. Farabeest (for real!)

Three years ago to the day, I created this blog as a way to help me cope with the demands of veterinary school abroad. True, I haven't always been as up-to-date as I would like. Yes, I've forgotten to post pictures on Facebook for basically the last two years, allowing my peers to post tagged photos of me enjoying the last few months on St. Kitts and far fewer pictures of me enjoying my new life in Ithaca.

While I have been *extremely* neglectful in how often I update everyone about my life in a hopefully not-narcissistic fashion, that doesn't mean I've forgotten. It means that life gets in the way. That even on the "easier" clinical rotations I still put myself into bed around 9, sleep until 6-7 and wonder why I'm so exhausted.

So, in honor of my three year mark, I'll give you guys all a taste of what I've been up to since finding out I was accepted to clinical year at Cornell University (since....um....June.)

June:

• Was the anesthetist for our sheep's epidydectomy (castration).
• Was the anesthetist for our donkey's nerve identification surgery.
• Was the surgeon and performed my first canine neuter.
• Was the surgeon and performed my first sheep celiotomy and procedure requiring glove/instrument changes, sewed up my first incision and it looked amazing.

July:

• Hiked up Mt. Liamuiga one last time. Unfortunately never made it back down into the crater, but still always a humbling experience.
• Experienced my first "all-night on emergency" graveyard shift back to back. 
• Put a cast on my first horse limb (it was only a model, shhh!)
• Sold my island car.
• Was the anesthetist for my first spay patient.

August:

• Took the practice NAVLE with all my peers.
• MOVED BACK HOME Saturday, August 19th, 2017.

Two weeks of bliss and riding later....

September:

• M came to visit me and help me move up to Ithaca.
• Officially started my clinical year with Anesthesiology, one of the toughest subjects for me (and the one that I was actually terrified of.) I came out of that rotation with so much more confidence in myself, thanks in part to the amazing team who mentored me and who I truly became friends with.
• Moved to Large Animal Orthopedic Surgery. Was reminded of how little I know of horses. My general care knowledge was excellent, but it was certainly a reminder to keep reading and keep learning. Also reminded me of how expensive good textbooks are. And how huge draft horses are. And how awesome it is to work with Dr. Ducharme.

October:

• Small Animal Orthopedic Surgery - The miracle of fixing knees and fixing hips. Learned how implants can unfortunately fail, and that Care Credit is a lifesaver (Seriously. Get pet insurance. Most vet clinics accept it and it can cut so many costs down!) Was yelled at by an owner for the first time to the point of tears, followed immediately by seeing my first surgeries to correct pyometra and then GDV (gastric dilation and volvulus).
• Ophthalmology - Lots of dogs, but got to see my first eye enucleation in a horse (taking out the eye under standing sedation). Had a very sad case about a cat presenting for blood in its eye who was ultimately diagnosed with cancer.

Oh yeah, we had baby reindeer. This
one had Babesia, a blood parasite which
causes anemia. Luckily he pulled through
with flying color

November:

• Large Animal Medicine - Got to meet the legendary Dr. Divers, one of the nicest and most intelligent people I have ever met. Rounds were extremely informative and after changing my studying habits I retained so much more information. Performed my first atlanto-occipital CSF collection in a calf and managed a very difficult case of acute-on-chronic renal failure in a goat.
• Had my first (and only) two week break and was able to spend my first Thanksgiving in three years at my family's house.
• Took the NAVLE the week after Thanksgiving. The most difficult exam of my life. 7 hours, 360 questions, 1 shopping trip to Dover Saddlery later, and the results were out of my hands until January.

December:

• Small Animal Soft Tissue Surgery - Performed my first spay, saw a laparoscopic ovariectomy, one of my patients had 60% of her liver removed and is currently thriving at home. I was called in on the last day of the rotation and scrubbed into three emergency procedures (two foreign bodies and another i cant remember off the top of my head), performed a surprise neuter on a dog here for another surgical issue, etc. Easily one of my favorite rotations.
• Presented my senior seminar (15 minute presentation about a horse with a rare disease and rarer clinical presentation) to faculty members here at Cornell and I received very good reviews!
• Large Animal Soft Tissue Surgery - my first 3 week rotation. It ended up being combined with Orthopedic surgery so had a lot of similar cases. Saw my first equine broken leg and successful surgical repair!

January:

• Experienced the fun and revealing Sports Medicine rotation, whose chiefs created and are the board leaders for a field that I'm seriously considering becoming board-certified in (even though they made fun of me for wanting all my patients to be horses, which was a total of 0/32). A lot of underwater treadmill therapy, and one week of "doggy bootcamp" which showed markable improvement for a former patient of mine who I first saw on my Emergency Relief shift back in November. Experienced laser and shockwave therapies, which in my mind may help to alleviate post-operative pain. (we were also able to test these modalities on ourselves!)
• On January 16th, I found out that I had passed the NAVLE (aka my national licensing boards). It was such a huge relief for me, but immediately marred by the knowledge that several people close to me did not pass. As a quick note, never give up. There are literally hundreds of articles about people who didn't pass the first, the second, or even the third/fourth times. And they are still excellent, well-respected veterinarians. This test is just a hoop you need to jump through, and if you did not do as well as you wanted to please know that there is a huge network of support available to you. And I believe in you.
• Secondary to that, I postponed letting my friends/family know until about two weeks later. My mom was officially retiring from teaching, and I was able to take time off from Cornell to surprise her at her party and tell her in person. My dad, sister, and M knew within 5 minutes of the results being posted.
• Went riding, and Bebe didn't try to kill me. 
• Just kidding, she always just gets really excited when I come home and pretends to be Ricky Bobby as soon as I hop on her back.
• Pathology rotation- while the idea of necropsy was initially almost abhorrent to me, this rotation quickly grew on me as I gained a deeper understanding of the pathophysiology of diseases within the body. I was able to see pancreatitis, abortion (due to Leptospirosis), multiple legal cases, forensic pathology (which is a hell of a lot like CSI/Criminal Minds!) I was able to see multiple cases of pneumonia, a disease which had always slightly confused me back in vet school.

I don't know why none of my pictures are uploading to here, but I'll try to upload them in a separate post, or to Facebook. Or to anywhere, really.

I'll also try to update with any more major life events, such as if I participate in an internship or when I get a job. Still unsure which would be best for me, but only time will tell. In the meantime, I've been working on a bullet journal, on knitting a blanket, on reading more fun books not related to veterinary medicine, on going to the gym about 4-5 days a week, and going hiking as often as I can with Toothless. See y'all in the future!

Almost three months since my last post....

HELLO 7TH!

Hello everyone! Didja miss me? Have you been wondering what has been going on lately? Are you stressed out wondering when Sam will ever get anything done? Me too.

This is the schedule for my past week. Except the little "free" blocks are actually filled in with more studying or working out or sleeping. I only realized now the calendar can only show from 6 am to 6 pm and there's so much more that's not shown.

So in a nutshell I've made it through the quarter finals (1st-6th semester) and made it to the finals (7th and clinicals). I'm currently sitting in the library at 9 in the morning, drenched in sweat and smelling like a combination of Biolage shampoo and sheep manure, enjoying my now-greatly-needed cup of coffee, and taking a break during the "hurry up and wait" mentality that is 7th semester and really veterinary life in general. Basically, let's recap:

Toothless takes America

Toothless made it to America on April 19th. I've seen her go through almost every emotion a dog can go through-

• Sadness when I was packing my bags and she thought she would be left here like all other breaks
• Excitement when she realized she was coming with me (short term)
• Confusion when we walked INTO the airport and then had to sit and then walked OUTSIDE to get to the plane which was another inside.
• Excitement when she realized planes are like cars and she can look out the wind-
• HOLY SHIT THE OCEAN IS DOWN THERE AND WE'RE UP HERE OMG OMG OMG PANIC
• "Oh, these nice strangers beside Mom pet me, so I'm gonna snuggle up between them because Mom got me into this mess and I hate her."
• Also, "I'm not going to bark or whine, but I am going to pant heavily and shake enough that Mom thinks I'm seizing."
• Relaxed when the terrifying shaking/turbulence stopped and we actually made it to Miami Airport.
• Slight panic when we left for Charlotte
• Utter exhaustion when we made it to the hotel room for the night
• Exhaustion continued as she finally realized that planes aren't so bad and all the extra seat space between us meant she got a seat of her own.
• Excitement to meet my dad when he picked us up at the airport
• Excitement and sheer bliss when she got to the farm and realized she has SO MUCH ROOM and doesn't have to be on a leash and alpacas are basically like big dogs that chase me and I like to chase and chickens are not delicious meat things on sticks but animals to be respected because mom and her parents will yell at me and ponds are basically oceans with big waves and kayaking is fun cause I'm on the water without being in the water.

Toothless likes my bed more than I do.

Muddy and dirty, my best friend Coach and I greet my aunt
the best way we know how.

So basically, Toothless is having the time of her life. Asides for attacking one chicken (which lived) and then realizing that she shouldn't do that, she hasn't had any problems adjusting from island life to mainland life. She now spends her time traveling between my house and the farm, hanging out with the horses, chasing and being chased by the alpacas, and generally loving being a farm dog. I miss her so incredibly much, but I only have 76 days left here in St Kitts, and I'm happy to finally be doing what I love, even if I'm exhausted and stressed out.

7th Semester is oh so hard but oh so satisfying

Kay is "fixing" a prolapsed uterus on this model during our
Clinical Theriogenology rotation. Most of our labs utilize
water filled models to simulate specific medical conditions
without traumatizing an actual patient.

Starting the Tuesday of Week 2, my days have begun at 5:00 AM every day (including weekends). We were assigned our two partners-in-crime/surgical patients named Augusto and Gaylor, the cutest donkey at Ross and an adorable sheep, respectively. Part of the reason our days start so early is that we have to check our animals at least once a day if they haven't had any recent problems, or twice a day if they do. For example- a simple cut would not need a full SOAP (basically physical exam with notes, assessments, and a plan of how we want to proceed), but a joint injection requires a full SOAP twice per day until that problem has closed. So far, I have been a surgeon for Augusto's joint injection (arthrocentesis) and castration, and an anethetist for Gaylor's epididymectomy last night. Everything with both surgeries has gone as close to perfect as possible both for the actual procedure, monitoring, and post-op recovery and healing process. I was completely freaking out yesterday morning, as I had a Theriogenology exam (which did not go well) and was more afraid about killing my sheep because Anesthesiology still terrifies me. Once the procedure started and the chaos subsided I realized that I actually CAN be an anesthetist, and to rely more on my own hands and my diagnoses rather than the machine that likes to make a lot of angry beeping noises and is a little too sensitive for its own good. It was ironic that the group next to me had a sheep that did basically the opposite of how ours went- I controlled my CO2 levels really well which led to a very mild metabolic alkalosis, but the other group could not control theirs and their sheep compensated for that imbalance on its own. It was an invaluable teaching moment and proved to me that animals are quite resilient and that things that go wrong in my eyes actually have no negative impact on my patient's health in this case.

Also Augusto and Gaylor still come running up to us when we show up in the morning, so they still love us in spite of our surgeries and our post-op meds and our hydrotherapy. Maybe that's just the carrots and sugar cubes and other treats we give them, but we'll take that.

Clinical Placement

 LOOK WHO IS MOVING TO ITHACA, NY! Officially got my Cornell email as of like 12 minutes ago and I am so excited to continue on through my veterinary training as a member of an Ivy League school. Plus it's only 6 hours from the farm, so I'm able to come home on occasion :) Unfortunately I have to put this blog aside for the moment so I can recheck our potential neuter patient in a half hour, but I will provide more details about life in 7th semester at a later date.

Happy day!

6th semester is terrible but fun.

Hello everybody!

Just when I feel like I'm actually caught up on my work and my to-do list, in comes a wave of panic like a jumbo jet. Does that analogy even really make sense?

Small Animal Surgery got me feelin' like....

Anyway, I managed to scrape by 5th semester with decent grades and only 4 episodes of crying during finals. At the time, I had a few foster dogs living at my house and so you guys remember, finals for us are much like other schools: 7 AM or 10:30 AM finals Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I had just finished my first final (Toxicology) after staying up all night panicking. To be fair, we did have 2 weeks to learn about 120 plants including identification, mechanism of action of their toxins, and relative geographic location, and the professors were going to pull 4 plants from the Toxic Garden for us to be tested on. But I digress. That final actually went......terrible, but there was a huge curve so it worked out okay. I went home to sleep since by the time finals rolls around I become nocturnal.  I went back to campus around 4:30 and I had given all the dogs Kong toys- the big rubbery cone looking things that have a space for treats/peanut butter, etc- to eat in their crates- with the intention of coming back at midnight to let them outside again, and then go back to campus to finish studying for Small Animal Medicine 1. I get back at 12..........only to find my one foster dog had literally had the kong stuck on her jaw. Like, she shoved her face into the hole. I tried to remove it through various means; pulling, cutting it, crying, praying, prying, etc- to no avail. In fact, the dog was *screaming*. She woke up my landlord who lived upstairs. So I start thinking, "Oh my god. You broke your jaw. You freaked out when it got stuck and you broke your jaw and how long have you had this thing on you oh my god my exam is at 7 what am I going to do how can I take you into the Emergency Room of the VTH PANIC PANIC PANIC." 

So I called Katherine. Katherine is one of my best friends down here, and she's one of the only people I would call at 1:00 AM during finals week to help. I drove back to campus, picked her up from where we were studying, drove back home, and literally within 2 minutes she had the Kong off the dog's face and she was jumping around like literally nothing had happened. Apparently I hadn't been pulling hard enough and I did need help to hold her down. Crisis averted.

By the end of finals, I was exhausted, frustrated, doubting all of my intelligence and study habits, and generally feeling low. The last exam, Anesthesiology, was set at 10:30, and I had gone to bed at 2 AM with the intention of waking up at 5 to go over a few more powerpoints that I still had issues understanding. I woke up to 15 missed calls, and realized that I had slept through all 7 alarms. And it was 10:10. 

I still don't know how I passed that final. I just remember sobbing on the frantic drive to campus, and I am not the type of person to cry during exams. The point is, I made it to 6th. With my GPA taking a little hit, but I still passed. And that is all that matters in the end.

Oh, and I went to Ireland over Christmas. Matt and I had found an amazing deal online, and we knew we wouldn't be able to go during my clinical year and I would be so concerned with paying back loans that I would be less willing to go in a few years. It was an amazing experience and I urge everyone I meet to go just once in their life to experience Dublin. Unfortunately we did not have enough time to visit the countryside or any other country besides the London Heathrow Airport, so I guess we'll just have to plan for another trip somehow!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The famous almost-Doctor Justin and his heifer.

We had brunch at Kittitian Hill over Midsemester Break-
AMAZING FOOD with even better views!

BUT I MADE IT TO SIXTH SEMESTER!!!

So now, I'm taking Large Animal (Equine) Medicine, Small Animal Surgery, Small Animal Medicine II, and Special Species (Exotics).  I had my first round of exams about 3 weeks ago now and while they certainly were challenging going through them, looking back, they really weren't that bad. I really need to get over this whole "I know nothing" phase that I've been going through lately because I actually have been getting A's and B's on these past few exams. Regardless, I do still need to manage my time better. I definitely have reduced the amount of time I spent going out to dinner or out to the Strip, but I feel like I'm becoming a homebody at this point.

Island horses roam free without fences here.

Now for the classes themselves:

LAM- FINALLY. AMAZING.  This is the class that I'm finally extremely interested and attentive in, because it's finally horsesssssss!!! I finally understand that the limiting factor for performance horses is the respiratory system. I finally know most of the in's and out's of colic. I feel like every single class is a paradigm shift in my understanding of the horse. And I literally cannot WAIT to get out in practice and help to improve their welfare. The first half of the class so far has been focused more on performance issues regarding the cardiovascular system, respiratory system, and emergency treatment such as fluid rates, etc. We are now getting further into respiratory and gastrointestinal issues.

SAM II- Compared to LAM, it's not as fun, but obviously I'm a bit biased. It is really nice and very integrative with LAM and SAx (Surgery)- aka we're discussing gastrointestinal disease at the same time in three different classes. We had a locum professor come in for our ophthamology unit (which we learned in a week :| ) and that was the most interesting aspect for me. Dermatology is tough, but at least the top three diagnoses to an itchy pet are 1.) Fleas, 2.) Fleas, and 3.) Fleas, 4.) Anything else.

Preparing for my aseptic exam the first few weeks of school.

SAx- Surgery is arguably the most demanding and challenging class of this semester. For one, it is many of our first experiences regarding aseptic technique and understanding surgical diagrams. Additionally, a lot of this class (lecture wise) is rare surgical procedures that even the board-certified surgeons say they've only done 10 times in their career. I feel like this class is more, this is an easy surgery for you to perform, this is one case you should refer, this is one you shouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, and here's one for a cat where you literally suture its leg to its ribs (perform this if the cat has a leg wound that will not heal or is a type of degloving injury where skin is missing from over 1/2 the circumference of the limb.) The other issue with surgery is there is a laboratory component including the infamous ROSSie surgery, where we practice our aseptic technique and spay a sweater. The model is fabric, cotton batting, rubber bands, and foam loops representing different aspects of an animal's abdominal anatomy, and we are required to perform several different techniques to represent different issues that might come up. This mock spay is worth 35% of our grade and must be 40 minutes max from start to finish. And there are many people from Pink Semester who have failed 6th semester and had to repeat because of this exam. We must demonstrate proficiency of a number of different suture patterns, and the time it takes just to practice has literally taken hours of our available spare time. I am fairly confident in my suture patterns, but am more concerned about the time it takes me to finish.

Special Species- a fun, fast-paced class covering (so far) birds and reptiles, and will eventually cover small rodents and other exotic species. It's amazing how many veterinary issues ultimately stem from husbandry or nutritional issues, so most of them are easy fixes.

Overall though, I only have 5 months, 8 days, 11 hours, 04 minutes, and 15 seconds at the time of this writing left on island. And only 43 days left until Toothless and I journey our way back to America for friends, family, and plenty of horses since this girl got an externship in Lexington, KY just in time for ROLEX!

Hasta la vista, baby.

June, July, August, September, October

Last weekend was Midsemester Break, and instead of utilizing that extra day like a good student would- catching up on work, re-listening to lectures, the works- I spent those three days watching Grey's Anatomy or Black Mirror on Netflix. I finally got to sleep for once. And, most importantly, I was able to recover from the absolute hell of the previous three weeks. Then I said, "Oh hey! I never actually posted my blog post from September that I wrote. Let's go see how the blog is going." *reads last post was from June*

.....

So in a quick rehash,  I passed all my 4th semester classes and made it to 5th semester. Over the break I spent a week at home seeing my family, friends, and horses, and then spent a few days visiting my best vet school friend up in Boston with lots of horseback riding and barn time (and shopping in a real mall again!!) Then I flew over to Tucson to visit Matt for a week. Long distance relationships are hard, but he makes it so worth it.

My first time seeing the Grand Canyon!!!!

The next week and 4 flights later saw me back on the island again and man did we just jump right into the deep end of work. I'm currently taking Small Animal Medicine, Anesthesiology, Diagnostic Imaging, and Toxicology and my workload is insane. Well, I shouldn't say insane because as long as I manage my time well, the information is doable. It's the fact that I lack almost all self-control that makes it hard for me.

Week 2 of Hell. Two more exams to follow next week. We had also had
a SAM exam the previous week.

During the first seven weeks of the semester everything was fine until right around Week 5-7. I had the equivalent of a midterm for every exam; by midterm, I mean each exam was roughly between 20-40 points on average and constituted 30-40% of my grade. I had my first live patient anesthesia on a dog named Quinn (ironic since that's one of my horses' names at home.) I had signed up for two additional ultrasound labs (equine distal limb ultrasound and a reproductive ultrasound wet lab) during that week as well as an equine dentistry wet lab. I was taking care of not just Toothless, but two other puppies from SAFE and one puppy who I am private fostering for a girl living in the dorms. Olivia and Cyrus came to me as 2 week old pups who had just lost their mother to a hit by car accident, and I would bring them with me to study so I wouldn't have to drive home every three hours to bottle feed them. However, the experience was so rewarding- Olivia just got adopted last night and is currently on a plane to America to her new owner, and Cyrus is a little scamp who I am trying very hard not to fall in love with. 

"Adopt me! I'm a good boy!"

Freaking cute as hell Olivia

(Shameless plug: if you or anyone you know wants this adorable island hound, please feel free to message me! He is the absolute sweetest!)

So Mom & Dad if you're reading this, at least I did well on my exams! (I'm also waiting for my notes to print off so before you say 'get back to studying,' I'm already doing so. Love you!) Besides, I only went out for Halloween twice and once because I was a host for trivia night- the rest of the time I spent in the library studying my butt off.

I do want to let anybody know who is planning on coming down here for veterinary school that there have been a number of events in the past month or two alone that can be frightening to the best of us. For example, there is an insane man living near the bypass who thinks it's fun to throw rocks through people's windshields as they drive by (luckily I just barely missed him and had no damage to my car). My two friends weren't so lucky as I. The police are regularly called to deal with him, but as there are few mental health opportunities for therapy here, the police have no choice but to let him go about his business. Then, just this morning, it was brought to the school's attention that someone had left out poisoned meat on a popular walking route near campus. Two students' dogs have died this morning and afternoon from it. There have additionally been numerous anecdotes from students about abuse towards their dogs- one student had her dog safely on a leash and was threatened by a local with a machete. Toothless just last week at the beach was minding her own business under a chair, and from my spot in the water I saw two little girls picking up large rocks and trying to throw them at her. In yet another example, a horse that appeared across from campus at the beginning of the semester literally had a deep infected wound from a machete across her withers that even 2 months later is barely healed.
I am writing this to warn students that this is not paradise. And I feel that a majority of blogs written about Ross skim over the bad aspects of living here because who wants to read about poisoned dogs or machetes? Let's look at pictures of people having fun and drinking on the beach and loving their lives in vet school. For future students: please remain vigilant. Please be safe. Recognize that you are not in America anymore and that the local communities do not think of dogs or even other animals the way that we do. I am not trying to dissuade anyone from coming here- St. Kitts is a beautiful country and the majority of the locals are very nice and welcoming. Vet school is hard enough. Vet school on an island is even harder. I want people to understand the realities of living down here, and not just an Instagram or Facebook-worthy "perfect, happy life." I love what I'm learning and I love what I'm going to do. I still am counting down the days until I'm back on American soil for good.

Since I'm running out of time to finish writing this thanks to my vent session above, here's a quick rundown of the rest of my semester. Future upcoming events for me include a sheep anesthesia lab, some snorkeling with some professors and friends thanks to a last minute bid on a faculty auction post, several more exams, and some finals and come December 16th, I will be flying back to the States for a few weeks of family and vacation!

It is 5 weeks into a new semester, one that is becoming more and more clear to me that I was born to do this work. My classes so far are still in the fundamental stages. I'm currently taking Animal Nutrition, Epidemiology (the study of mostly zoonotic diseases and animal/human public health), Pathology II, and Clinical Pathology.

When you give vet students Play-Doh as a
stress reliever....

We are finally learning what blood tests can actually tell us about the health of a patient, what body systems are affected, why this disease is so catastrophic if it enters the United States, how to tell parents that their child didn't get pinworms from their dog, but rather from another child at the day care center. This semester reminds me so much of the logic puzzles I loved as a kid (if you've never heard of them before, try them out here: http://www.logic-puzzles.org/ . They're addicting!!) We are now detectives, learning about palpations and how to tell that your cat has anemia because you gave it Tylenol, etc. Yes, there's a lot of work and studying still. My colleagues and I definitely hit the ground running! But it's now much more fun rather than strict memorization. I still have those thoughts of, "I don't understand any of this, I'm an imposter, I don't know anything, How can I even be a vet when I can't even tell these two white blood cells apart?" And then I find myself answering questions regarding cases in class, and I'm actually correct 85% of the time, and the other % is either a memorization failure or a brain block. My friends, family, and boyfriend continue to support me even when I have to leave the library in tears from stress. And now, I am feeling more and more confident as the semester continues.

Rolex 3-D Event 20016. This jump was about 4.5 feet tall
and was filled with apples and potatoes.

I guess I should mention that over this past break I was able to attend the Rolex 3-Day Event in Lexington, KY as a representative of RUSVM's SCAVMA AAEP Chapter (the American Association of Equine Practitioners.) 7 of my colleagues and I were able to network with various veterinarians on the course, were able to attend the veterinary debriefings both pre- and post- to the cross-country event, and were given a tour of Hagyard Veterinary Hospital (arguably one of the best equine hospitals in the nation). Who knows? Maybe this time next year I'll be doing an externship with them during my break. Or at the legendary Claiborne Farms? I'm still undecided at the moment about an internship vs. externship. But regardless, my mom and I were able to have some bonding time together, and I think this might be the start of an annual trip (Dad, you're coming with us, next time!) My horses at home are doing well. I still miss them every day, but now I can officially tell my parents "This is why we're feeding this brand of feed and why each horse gets something different."

Toothless, you freaking weirdo.

Life on island is much the same as ever- Toothless is still the terrible terrier, my island car has been out of commission for 2 weeks because a $10 US part hasn't been flown over from St. Martin yet, and I still love binge watching Gordon Ramsay videos and trying to learn to not be a picky eater anymore (Mom, look, I'm trying!). But I believe the rest of this semester will be a little bit sad for one reason.

My jump I was stationed at with a vet from FL.
5 foot high with a 5 foot spread.

My favorite professor, and likely one of the most influential mentors I have ever had, is leaving us after 25 years. We- the student body- are crushed to see him go. After all, there are so many other things that he could be teaching us. More anecdotes and examples that we could use later on in our careers. More "Out of the mouth of R-" quotes that never fail to put us back in a good mood. But we are all so happy for him that he finally chose to retire, to do what he pleases and not be bound to just one or two countries anymore. He deserves this. So when he sent the students the following email, his words only helped to solidify my respect for him as a mentor, as a professor, and as a human being.

Soon To Be Veterinarians: 

Some of you know better than others that for some reason unknown to me, I find it difficult to accept gifts. I can’t explain it. At the same time, I am fully aware of gifts that you have bestowed on me for many years, gifts that you may not even know you have given. You should know that your enthusiasm and your curiosity are what we teachers feed on. It is sustenance. It gives us worth above and beyond the basic worth we all possess as human beings. That is a gift. 

 That your enthusiasm and your curiosity are in no small part driven by your desire to do good by all animals only wraps the gift in a bigger gift still. 

 You have no idea how rewarding it has been to be surrounded by such souls for so many years.
Best Wishes and Best of Luck to all of you,
AR

Thank you Dr. R. His words have also helped to eradicate some of these negative thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head lately. I can do this. I will get through this. And if you, whoever is reading this, are in my shoes and need a friend to talk to, I will gladly help. I have a bunch of Awkward Yeti / vet school memes to keep us both laughing for hours.

On the hill before the beach, Stand By Me hike.

No railings, only planks to walk on, and we found out the train DOES still pass through this hiking trail.

All the best to all of you-

S.

Today, as one of my good friends so elegantly put, "St. Kitts beat me down today." Make it more of the past 3 days. Long rant to follow.

SHE WINKED. SHE ACTUALLY WINKED.
WHAT DOG EVEN DOES THAT.

Normally I love living here. The beautiful scenery and beaches, the challenges and puzzles of vet school, the strong drinks (5/6 rum with a dash of coke), etc. are usually enough to placate me until I go back home to the States. I am so incredibly blessed to be studying down here; to be living in places that normal people save up for years to vacation/honeymoon to. But I am writing this post to remind both my family and the future students who may read this blog that living here is not always sunshine and roses. Getting anything done here is so damn difficult, the "relaxed" culture is to the point of lazy that makes you want to pull your hair out, and you will face constant reminders of "everything you love and what you think is normal is thousands of miles away." I'm going to write today about every day challenges each RUSVM student will face, except this all hit me at once like a ton of bricks.

The car:

Every time someone tries to tell me about my car problems, I hear...

I drive a Toyota model named Melvin who is a year older than I am. If he were for sale in the states, he wouldn't even bring $1,000. But I bought him for $3,500 with all of his little island quirks because that's basically the minimum price for a used car in St. Kitts. His passenger side window is difficult to get down, the driver's side outside door handle broke off the second day after I bought him and the inside door handle recently broke at one pin so you have to gently pull it to open the door, the A/C had been working but now isn't, the high beams won't stay on- instead, they turn all the lights off, and the seat belts are starting to become stuck. Overall, however, Melvin has been a fairly reliable car who has only been out of commission from needing radiator hoses/caps replaced and several flat tires. So what's the issue? Where am I going with this?
Remember what I said about "relaxation" can be described as "lazy?" Wanna know how many times this month alone I've had to buy new tires? Three, at $150 EC each (about $55 US per tire). If it were once a year, I would completely be fine with this. What I'm NOT fine with is that each of these flats were caused by nails/screws left out by a construction site near my apartment. It's too lazy to sweep up or pick up any materials, especially considering that I only drive back to my house between 1-3 AM as I'm a night owl. Just like all the litter and garbage that surrounds the streets and highways of St. Kitts, it's customary to just leave a construction site with nails and screws everywhere. I digress.
Additionally I have a tail light that is out, and the other one is dimmed. Okay, fine. That I can deal with-it's an easy fix. But then last night I left the library after studying to find that someone had hit my front end and my low beam light is cracked (still working though!) I get in the car, and lo and behold, only my low beams work now- the high beams won't even turn on. Then this morning, at the same time I discovered the flat tire, the low beam on the hit side is now also broken and won't light. Normally I would just view this as another inconvenience, except that I am supposed to get my car fully inspected tomorrow and get my wheel tax done for the year (must be finished by the end of March). I'm not even sure if the place I'm taking the car to can even fix these things in one day- usually you give the mechanics here 3-4 days to get things done, and then give yourself another 2 days to figure out whether they just half-assed it or actually did the job right. We'll see tomorrow.

Toothless likes wine even more than I do... :|

The apartment:
My roommate and I are in different semesters, and both have different schedules with her classes beginning in the early morning and mine not starting until the afternoon. Lately our freezer has been prone to having ice form by the fan therefore impeding it and spoiling all of our frozen foods. And in the past few days, we've noticed that the refrigerator portion is also not cooling (yay more spoiled food). Finally, on Friday, we found that our regular lock is now broken- our house keys just spin the interior circle and don't actually lock the door. Thank God the deadbolt still works, but still. Our landlord came down to fix it, but it's still the same. Now it takes us 20 minutes to get into the house if it is locked from the inside.

The phone:
My precious, sweet iPhone. May you rest in piece in the hands of either the student or cleaning person who found you and won't return it, or you may be sleeping somewhere in my house- (as I've searched and cleaned every spot in the apartment and car since you've gone missing, I doubt that the second option is valid.)
Last Tuesday after our Path exam, another student and I were studying in the 24 hour room- a room filled with security cameras- for our BacT exam that Thursday. I had forgotten my phone charger at home and helplessly watched my phone die, then set it beside my computer in sadness. Around 1 AM, friend and I packed up our belongings and headed home. After the 10 minute drive back to my house, I went to charge my phone and realized my phone wasn't in any of my bags. Took my flashlight out and checked my car and the ground around the car- nothing. By the time I was done looking, it was 3 AM, and I had to be on campus by 7:30. I figured that since the room was being cleaned at 4:30 that morning and that there were cameras everywhere, and my phone was probably in my car regardless, I would just wait until I got to campus to see if it was still there.

Shockingly, it wasn't.

I asked on the student's page. I asked both Student Services and the workers at the LRC if anyone had turned in an iPhone. I scoured my car (with the aid of several other friends because I do a crappy job of searching for things), and I cleaned my room top to bottom after my next exam. After 3 days, it became clear to me that I hadn't just misplaced it, but likely that someone had stolen it. I'm still waiting to hear back from security after they check the video footage, but in the meantime, I've lost my watch, my camera, my iPod, my alarm clock, my nutrition/workout calendar, my contacts, etc. etc.

Stress:
In 2 weeks, I lost 10 pounds. I figured out that it was a combination of diet and exercise- rather, I was too nervous to eat much and wanted to run away from my problems and the stress of school. And after this round of exams, I gained every single pound back in 4 days. Both extremes are disgusting. I'm currently trying to establish a better routine for myself, but as the stress of classes continues to mount, I feel like a larger and larger failure in that I can't keep my life together. This is week....what? 9? I think. We just had two exams last week, we have a "week" off, a Viro exam on Tuesday, Path exam the week after, and another round of Path/BacT the week after. Most of my friends and I are in a dilemma- catch up on the other three classes as they'll have more complicated material we must master, or get a head start on the upcoming Viro exam.

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Needless to say, it's been a very tough past few days/weeks for me. However, with the support system of my family, friends, and boyfriend all helping me, I'm finally at a place where I think I can buckle down and push through all the trials and tribulations St. Kitts has thrown at me. In addition, there have been MANY good days and things that I have been up to:

It was our team, Mr. Krabs!
WE WERE NUMBER ONE!

•  I finally was able to take Toothless to the beach for a well-deserved and delayed mid semester break with my close friends
• The weekend before that those same friends and I gathered together for a potluck and some good homemade food
• Went on a birthday night-catamaran trip to Nevis (complete with good company and an open bar)
• Led some friends on yet another volcano hike
• Went to the movies to go see Zootopia with a bunch of other vet students
• Had a lovely movie night with Toothless, a bottle of wine, Matt, and me last Sunday
• Raptor Squad is still #1- had the most delicious homemade strawberry cheesecake pie.
• Was accepted into the "Rolex Experience" team over April break- will be able to see behind-the-scenes at Rolex 3 Day Event in Kentucky, speak with performance vets, etc. :D

“After all, tomorrow is another day!" -Scarlet O’Hara